


Conceal My Fears

by iridiumring92



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Anxiety, Canon Timeline, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, M/M, Pre-Altissia, kind of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-30
Updated: 2017-07-30
Packaged: 2018-12-09 00:44:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11658075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iridiumring92/pseuds/iridiumring92
Summary: In Caem, Noctis catches Ignis in a deeply personal moment of weakness. He is surprised to learn what his advisor feels behind his normally calm facade.





	Conceal My Fears

**Author's Note:**

> For Ignoct Week 2017 Day 1: Taking care of each other
> 
> Title inspiration from [Marika Hackman's song "Let Me In."](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NNV8_MtE1L8)

The first time it happens, they’re in Caem. Noctis can’t find Ignis.

He checks with Dustin and Monica, keepers of the old house there, but they aren’t sure where his advisor has disappeared to. He asks Gladio and Prompto, who only look up from their phones long enough to say they haven’t seen him, either. Noctis walks to the lighthouse.

At first he thinks maybe he’ll just go up to the deck to spend a moment alone, or stand next to the fence that borders the lot and watch the sun set. But instead his ears pick up the distant sound of—he has to strain to identify it—someone crying? Come to think of it, he hasn’t seen Iris or Talcott recently. Maybe he’s intruding on one of them. After all, what they went through in Lestallum had both of them shaken, and there’s been little time to recover.

But when he tiptoes around the corner to make sure, it’s not Iris or Talcott. It’s Ignis.

He leans against the fence, forehead braced on his arms, and his shoulders shake. Noctis freezes for a moment at the sight. Ignis is the calmest of any of them, the last to show his emotions on any given matter. The fact that he’s _here_ is . . .

And he hasn’t told Noctis, hasn’t even let on, even after all they’ve been through together.

Noctis takes a few steps forward. He doesn’t want to do this, doesn’t want to interrupt, but he knows he’ll feel guilty if he lets himself walk away.

“Ignis?” he says, quietly.

Ignis whirls around, gloved hands frantically wiping any traces of tears from his cheeks. But he doesn’t catch all of them, and besides, Noctis has seen them anyway. His eyes are red-rimmed, but he’s still wearing his glasses.

“Highness, I am so sorry.” With shaking hands, he adjusts his glasses. The motion does nothing to lessen the air of anxiety about him.

“Shhh. Stop. Don’t apologize,” Noctis tells him. He steps closer, cups Ignis’s face in his hands, kisses his jaw. “What’s going on? Are—are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”

Noctis kisses him again, for good measure. “I want the true version, Ignis.”

Tears slip past Ignis’s lashes again, and Noctis wipes at them with his thumbs, carefully. Ignis takes a deep, shuddering breath. This Ignis, the one with no façade before him, terrifies Noctis. He’s grown used to letting Ignis take care of him—not the other way around—and suddenly he feels lost and selfish. For how long have these miserable, desperate feelings been clawing away at his advisor?

“I fear I am about to lose someone very dear to me,” Ignis says, finally.

“You mean in Altissia.”

Ignis nods.

“I can’t tell you that it’s going to be okay,” Noctis begins slowly. “But I’ll sure as hell do everything in my power. You know I will.”

Ignis nods again, even as he rubs his hands over his face and draws another shaking breath. “I can’t help it,” he says softly. “The three of you can reassure me all you like, and I’ll still find something to worry about. It’s not a choice. I can’t help it.”

“Is that why you’re always awake in the middle of the night?”

Ignis closes his eyes. “Yes.”

“Why haven’t you told me?” Noctis whispers.

“I didn’t want to burden you with the knowledge. I—you have enough to think about at the moment.”

Noctis’s breath hisses out through his nose. He presses his lips to Ignis’s cheek. “Don’t think like that,” he says. “You’re important to me.” Another soft touch of his lips to Ignis’s skin. “I love you.” Despite his best efforts, his eyes squeezed shut and his mouth pressed into a thin line, tears still slide down Ignis’s cheeks. Noctis tries to kiss them away. “Let me help.”

“Yes,” Ignis answers, his voice barely a whisper, pinched with pain.

“I’m serious,” Noctis says. “Wake me up next time. I won’t mind if I’m with you.”

“I’ll try.”

Noctis traces a thumb across his cheekbone. “Do you need a few minutes?”

Ignis nods, his face pressed against Noctis’s shoulder. For a long time, they stand together, each letting the other’s warmth in, until Ignis’s shaking stops.

**Author's Note:**

> I kind of wish this were just a little bit longer, but oh well! . . . I think it came from a headcanon I didn't realize I had.
> 
> In other news, happy ignoct week everyone! :) I'll be back soon!


End file.
